200hr Yoga Teacher Training | Weekend Two
Weekend two. One month later. Antsy and anxious and excited.
We started off the weekend with a self-led 1 hour flow of the Journey into Power. As soon as I got through integration, sun A and sun B my mind completely blanked. What the heck! I know I know this! You could feel the uncertainty throughout the room which only made it harder to focus and let go at the same time. Somewhere in the mess, I heard our teacher say “if you don’t know, make it up”. Ahhhhh okay. That makes me feel a little better. I free flow at home all the time. But, I couldn’t do it. I was so hung up on nailing the flow pose by pose I just couldn’t let myself be… *sigh*. It was very intense.
Afterwards we did our 5 Pillars of Power Yoga presentations. All 20 something of us are split into small groups that we meet with in between weekends and these are the groups we did the presentations with. The group that I’m in was assigned Tapas (heat) and we came up with a really cool way to show how with heat, tension is released. You are made pliable and able to move into your truest form. We did this by melting crayons to create a beautiful piece of art. Here is the timelapse to show you
We did some partner work that was a little different than last weekend. We were told to grab a partner, sit knee to knee and just see them. Be silent and really look at them. See all of them and stare into their eyes. If you think the original partner work is awkward, you should try this, haha. There’s something really special in this for me because I typically wear makeup more than I don’t. Not because I feel like I have to wear makeup, but because I find joy in doing my makeup and playing with colors. During these weekends I am completely “naked” and makeup-free. Sitting knee to knee with someone and letting them look at me is so….freeing.
Day 2 was even more intense. We typically start the mornings with meditation and reading from Journey into the Heart. After someone reads from the book we do some self inquiry and discuss what came up for us. I felt a lot of resistance throughout the day. I told one of my fellow trainees at lunch that I felt as if I couldn’t share in front of the group. I didn’t feel like I had anything intense enough to share in relation to the topics of discussion. I was really struggling with the group shares and couldn’t figure out why. I claim to be an open book and have a blog called “Revealing Hailey” (HAHAHA) yet I can’t get up in front of 20 something people, who are the most open and accepting group of humans I’ve ever met, and share what’s coming up for me. What the actual hell. I committed to be patient and when I felt my hand fly up ready to share, I would.
Day 3 came and so did group sharing. After the reading, two girls shared and when our teacher said “Does anyone else want to share?” My hand flew up….and so did another girls. She got to go first and I immediately thought “oh shit, now I have to wait and there’s no turning back”. When it was my turn, I got up and shared with the group. I ugly-cried, was shaking, laughed, got to be myself and really start to discover some things about me I didn’t know with the support of the group around me. Talk about a magical moment!?
It’s amazing what can happen when you show up as you are and don’t resist. Often times, through excuses and comfort people never truly discover who they are. Don’t let that happen to you. Go where it’s uncomfortable. Sit with it as long as you must. Whether it’s discomfort in a yoga pose, meditation, traffic or someone in your life. Get uncomfortable and breakthrough.
So much love,
H